BDSM TERMS & DEFINITIONS

Abrasion Using an abrasive material safely on the skin for the purposes of stimulation.

Animal Training Role-playing by playing the part of an animal. Typically done by the submissive. Examples of animal play are pony training, puppy training or kitten training.

Arse (Ass) Play Sexual play that involves the ass.

B & D Stands for Bondage and Discipline.

Bastinado The act of beating of the feet as a form of punishment.

BDSM A popular acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.

Bear A bear is a man who typically will have physical qualities including a lot of body hair, a beard and a larger masculine body frame.

Belting The act of using a belt during discipline.

Bondage Restricting a submissive to be physically helpless and mostly immobilized.

Boy The term Boy stands for the submissive in BDSM. A female can also play the role of the Boy.

Branding Using hot objects (usually metal) to burn an imprint into the skin.

Breath Play (Asphyxiaphilia) Using asphyxiation (the act of cutting off the oxygen flow to the head) as a way to experience a euphoric high during sex.

CBT (Cock and Ball Torture or Training) CBT stands for either Cock and Ball Training or Cock and Ball Torture.

Cub A Cub is a submissive male who likes bears.

D & S Stands for Dominance and Submission or Domination and Submission. D & S makes up part of BDSM.

Daddy Describes the dominant or mentoring role in a parental role play.

Dominant A person who plays a dominating role or dominates someone.

Domination The act of a submissive being controlled by a dominant.
Electrical Play Playing with electricity for sensual stimulation.

Endorphins Endorphins are chemicals released in the brain in response to pain, stress or pleasure.

Fetish A person with a fetish has a compulsive need to use the object to obtain sexual gratification and cannot achieve this without it.

Fisting Fisting is inserting one or more hands into the anus or vagina.

Flag Depending on color and placement, the flag denotes your desire.

Flagellation The act of using a whip, cane, paddle, flogger or similar device to strike the body.

Free Play Free form sadomasochism where there is no Dominant.

Genitorture Genitorture is the act of torturing the genitals through the application of pain.

Golden Shower A golden shower is using urine in play.

Hanky Codes Hanky codes are a way of showing your sexual kink or interest and also denoting whether you are a Dominant or Submissive.

Leatherman A common reference for the gay or lesbian community.

Limit The limit is the farthest point or line that someone draws for how intense the pain is going to be for BDSM play.

Masochism The act of getting psychological or physical pleasure out of receiving pain.

Munch A meeting of people in a scene who get together to socialize and discuss the lifestyle. Munches are often done over a meal.

Pansexual A Pansexual is sexually accepting of any gender or sexual orientation.

Real Time Real Time means it is happening now, or that this is not pretend.

Sadism The act of getting pleasure out of inflicting pain.

Safe Word A word, signal or gesture that is decided on in advance between participants in a BDSM scene (Dom and Sub, Top and Bottom).

Scat The act of playing with feces or stool.

Scene A scene is a single act of BDSM - like a scene in a movie. Scene can also refer to the whole BDSM community.
Sensual Pain Sensual pain is play that involves intense sensations.

Slave A submissive in a long term relationship with a Dominant.

Submission The act of submitting to a dominant in any way that is mutually agreed upon.

Submissive The person who gives control over to the Dominant.

Switch A Switch is someone who participates in BDSM activity as both a Top and Bottom or Dominant and Submissive.

Urethra Play Urethra play is playing with the urethra.

Vanilla In the BDSM context, vanilla means non-alternative sexuality.

Water Sports Water Sports is any form of play using urine or enemas.

AGE PLAY Role-playing the persona of someone substantially younger (or sometimes older) than your actual age.

BONDAGE Physical materials applied to a submissive or slave to restrain their ability to move and/or to otherwise restrict them. Also, the act of placing the submissive or slave in such materials.

BOTTOM A slang term for a submissive and/or masochist. Many people use the word "bottom" to mean specifically someone who enjoys being given various sensations, as opposed to a "submissive", who enjoys being controlled.

BOTTOM SPACE The psychological "head space" or attitude of being submissive.

BOY A submissive (often, but not always, male) who relates to their dominant in a child-to parent mode. More common among gay men and lesbians.

BRAT A submissive who enjoys rebelling in a childlike way against their dominant. Brats are fairly common in the spanking scene.

CONSENSUAL An activity done with the consent of adults competent to give that consent. One of the central features of SM play..

COUNTING GAMES Rituals engaged in during whipping, flogging, spanking , or during other forms of flagellation, in which the submissive (or slave) is required to keep count f the number of strokes delivered, often thanking the Master after each one and asking for more. Example: "Thats five, Sir. Thank you Sir, Sir, please may I have another, Sir?"

DADDY A dominant (usally, but not always, male) who has a submissive "boy" and who relates to that submissive in a parent/child mode. More common among gay men and lesbians, but gaining currency among heterosexuals and bisexuals as well.

DISCIPLINE Training by a Master in how they wish their submissive or slave to behave. Also, the punishment and correction administered by the Master when the submissive fails to act in the proper manner.

DOMINANT One who enjoys assuming control. One who decidees what happens and when. A dominant may or may not be sadistic.

FLAGELLATION The general act of one person striking another, usually in an erotic context. Includes spanking, paddling, flogging and whipping.

FLOGGER A multi-tailed whip in which the tails are long, flat strips of leather or a similarly flexible material.

HUMILIATION Activities which cause the submissive to feel shame, embarrassment, or degradation. Varies widely from person to person. Possibly psychologically explosive..

MASTER A term for a male dominant. Often used as a term of address, such as "Master Tom". It is often considered somewhat rude to address a man by this term without being first given permission to do so.

MASTER-slave RELATIONSHIP An ongoing SM relationship in which the slave is submissive to a male dominant.

MONDAY MORNING REBOUND SYNDROME Feelings of remorse, disgust, fear, and so forth that sometimes emerge hours or days after a person willingly, and often lustily, takes part in SM play.

MUMMIFICATION Immobilizing bondage, usally done by wrapping the submissive in many coils of materials such as plastic wrap, or by placing the submissive in a body bag designed for this purpose.

NOVICE A person just beginning to learn about and explore SM. Often treated with special kindness and attention by the more experienced members of the community or by the MASTER.

SADIST As loosely defined with the SM Community, a person who specifically enjoys administering pain. A person may be dominant without being sadistic. It's also possible to be sadistic without being dominant.

SADOMASOCHISM A rather vague term referring generally to fantasies and experiences regarding the introduction of domination, submission, bondage, sadism, masochism, humiliation, and related activities into erotic play.

SAFEWORD A specific word or other signal used, by prior agreement, to indicate that things are "really" becoming too intense for the person. Usally used by the submissive or slave, but may also be used by the dominant. "Safeword" itself is sometimes used at SM parties to signal a desire for outside intervention.

SLAVE A person who has an on-going, structured relationship with a dominant or Master. One who assumes the submissive role, often in a highly developed and committed way to a particular person. Cling someone "my slave" generally indicates a relatively sophisticated, ongoing relationship between the two of you.

SUBMISSIVE One who yields control. One who obeys orders adn may permit themselves to be bound if doing so pleases their dominant or Master.xt

TOP'S DISEASE An unwarranted attitude of superiority taken by a domiant. Believing that bottoms are somehow inferior and treating them so in either obvious or subtle ways. Usually a sign of insecurity or ignorance. Dominants who suffer from Top's Disease often (surprise, surprise) complain about how hard it is to find people willing to play with them. a mirror image of this syndrome is called Bottom's Disease.

TWO SQUEEZES A "squeeze signal" between players used to non-verbally signal that, "I'm all right."

WORSHIP To adore the personage of the dominant. Often combined with performing some service to the dominant's body such as massaging, kissing, or licking their feet or boots, massaging their body, bathing them. Explicitly sexual activity, such as performing oral sex on the dominant, may or may not be a part of such play.