First Law
A pet may not injure a Mistress or, through inaction, allow a Mistress to come to harm.
Second Law
A pet must obey orders given to it by its Mistress, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
Third Law
A pet must protect its own health and existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Showing posts with label BDSM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BDSM. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Ten Guidelines for submissives
Be patient! A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don't expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.
Be humble. You may be God's or Goddess' gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.
Be open. You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. SM is a very personal art, and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable SM friends.
Communicate! Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But - unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.
Be honest. Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.
Be vulnerable. Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don't always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you've written in your head. It's far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you're never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies.
Be realistic. Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don't call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment. Your top's equipment is expensive - respect it and don't abuse it.
Be really submissive! This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don't. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.
Be healthy! SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants - both active and passive - be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an "I want it all now" attitude when you aren't able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself best by staying healthy.
Have fun! After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative SM play.
Be humble. You may be God's or Goddess' gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.
Be open. You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. SM is a very personal art, and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable SM friends.
Communicate! Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But - unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.
Be honest. Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.
Be vulnerable. Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don't always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you've written in your head. It's far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you're never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies.
Be realistic. Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don't call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment. Your top's equipment is expensive - respect it and don't abuse it.
Be really submissive! This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don't. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.
Be healthy! SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants - both active and passive - be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an "I want it all now" attitude when you aren't able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself best by staying healthy.
Have fun! After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative SM play.
BDSM TERMS & DEFINITIONS
Abrasion Using an abrasive material safely on the skin for the purposes of stimulation.
Animal Training Role-playing by playing the part of an animal. Typically done by the submissive. Examples of animal play are pony training, puppy training or kitten training.
Arse (Ass) Play Sexual play that involves the ass.
B & D Stands for Bondage and Discipline.
Bastinado The act of beating of the feet as a form of punishment.
BDSM A popular acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.
Bear A bear is a man who typically will have physical qualities including a lot of body hair, a beard and a larger masculine body frame.
Belting The act of using a belt during discipline.
Bondage Restricting a submissive to be physically helpless and mostly immobilized.
Boy The term Boy stands for the submissive in BDSM. A female can also play the role of the Boy.
Branding Using hot objects (usually metal) to burn an imprint into the skin.
Breath Play (Asphyxiaphilia) Using asphyxiation (the act of cutting off the oxygen flow to the head) as a way to experience a euphoric high during sex.
CBT (Cock and Ball Torture or Training) CBT stands for either Cock and Ball Training or Cock and Ball Torture.
Cub A Cub is a submissive male who likes bears.
D & S Stands for Dominance and Submission or Domination and Submission. D & S makes up part of BDSM.
Daddy Describes the dominant or mentoring role in a parental role play.
Dominant A person who plays a dominating role or dominates someone.
Domination The act of a submissive being controlled by a dominant.
Electrical Play Playing with electricity for sensual stimulation.
Endorphins Endorphins are chemicals released in the brain in response to pain, stress or pleasure.
Fetish A person with a fetish has a compulsive need to use the object to obtain sexual gratification and cannot achieve this without it.
Fisting Fisting is inserting one or more hands into the anus or vagina.
Flag Depending on color and placement, the flag denotes your desire.
Flagellation The act of using a whip, cane, paddle, flogger or similar device to strike the body.
Free Play Free form sadomasochism where there is no Dominant.
Genitorture Genitorture is the act of torturing the genitals through the application of pain.
Golden Shower A golden shower is using urine in play.
Hanky Codes Hanky codes are a way of showing your sexual kink or interest and also denoting whether you are a Dominant or Submissive.
Leatherman A common reference for the gay or lesbian community.
Limit The limit is the farthest point or line that someone draws for how intense the pain is going to be for BDSM play.
Masochism The act of getting psychological or physical pleasure out of receiving pain.
Munch A meeting of people in a scene who get together to socialize and discuss the lifestyle. Munches are often done over a meal.
Pansexual A Pansexual is sexually accepting of any gender or sexual orientation.
Real Time Real Time means it is happening now, or that this is not pretend.
Sadism The act of getting pleasure out of inflicting pain.
Safe Word A word, signal or gesture that is decided on in advance between participants in a BDSM scene (Dom and Sub, Top and Bottom).
Scat The act of playing with feces or stool.
Scene A scene is a single act of BDSM - like a scene in a movie. Scene can also refer to the whole BDSM community.
Sensual Pain Sensual pain is play that involves intense sensations.
Slave A submissive in a long term relationship with a Dominant.
Submission The act of submitting to a dominant in any way that is mutually agreed upon.
Submissive The person who gives control over to the Dominant.
Switch A Switch is someone who participates in BDSM activity as both a Top and Bottom or Dominant and Submissive.
Urethra Play Urethra play is playing with the urethra.
Vanilla In the BDSM context, vanilla means non-alternative sexuality.
Water Sports Water Sports is any form of play using urine or enemas.
AGE PLAY Role-playing the persona of someone substantially younger (or sometimes older) than your actual age.
BONDAGE Physical materials applied to a submissive or slave to restrain their ability to move and/or to otherwise restrict them. Also, the act of placing the submissive or slave in such materials.
BOTTOM A slang term for a submissive and/or masochist. Many people use the word "bottom" to mean specifically someone who enjoys being given various sensations, as opposed to a "submissive", who enjoys being controlled.
BOTTOM SPACE The psychological "head space" or attitude of being submissive.
BOY A submissive (often, but not always, male) who relates to their dominant in a child-to parent mode. More common among gay men and lesbians.
BRAT A submissive who enjoys rebelling in a childlike way against their dominant. Brats are fairly common in the spanking scene.
CONSENSUAL An activity done with the consent of adults competent to give that consent. One of the central features of SM play..
COUNTING GAMES Rituals engaged in during whipping, flogging, spanking , or during other forms of flagellation, in which the submissive (or slave) is required to keep count f the number of strokes delivered, often thanking the Master after each one and asking for more. Example: "Thats five, Sir. Thank you Sir, Sir, please may I have another, Sir?"
DADDY A dominant (usally, but not always, male) who has a submissive "boy" and who relates to that submissive in a parent/child mode. More common among gay men and lesbians, but gaining currency among heterosexuals and bisexuals as well.
DISCIPLINE Training by a Master in how they wish their submissive or slave to behave. Also, the punishment and correction administered by the Master when the submissive fails to act in the proper manner.
DOMINANT One who enjoys assuming control. One who decidees what happens and when. A dominant may or may not be sadistic.
FLAGELLATION The general act of one person striking another, usually in an erotic context. Includes spanking, paddling, flogging and whipping.
FLOGGER A multi-tailed whip in which the tails are long, flat strips of leather or a similarly flexible material.
HUMILIATION Activities which cause the submissive to feel shame, embarrassment, or degradation. Varies widely from person to person. Possibly psychologically explosive..
MASTER A term for a male dominant. Often used as a term of address, such as "Master Tom". It is often considered somewhat rude to address a man by this term without being first given permission to do so.
MASTER-slave RELATIONSHIP An ongoing SM relationship in which the slave is submissive to a male dominant.
MONDAY MORNING REBOUND SYNDROME Feelings of remorse, disgust, fear, and so forth that sometimes emerge hours or days after a person willingly, and often lustily, takes part in SM play.
MUMMIFICATION Immobilizing bondage, usally done by wrapping the submissive in many coils of materials such as plastic wrap, or by placing the submissive in a body bag designed for this purpose.
NOVICE A person just beginning to learn about and explore SM. Often treated with special kindness and attention by the more experienced members of the community or by the MASTER.
SADIST As loosely defined with the SM Community, a person who specifically enjoys administering pain. A person may be dominant without being sadistic. It's also possible to be sadistic without being dominant.
SADOMASOCHISM A rather vague term referring generally to fantasies and experiences regarding the introduction of domination, submission, bondage, sadism, masochism, humiliation, and related activities into erotic play.
SAFEWORD A specific word or other signal used, by prior agreement, to indicate that things are "really" becoming too intense for the person. Usally used by the submissive or slave, but may also be used by the dominant. "Safeword" itself is sometimes used at SM parties to signal a desire for outside intervention.
SLAVE A person who has an on-going, structured relationship with a dominant or Master. One who assumes the submissive role, often in a highly developed and committed way to a particular person. Cling someone "my slave" generally indicates a relatively sophisticated, ongoing relationship between the two of you.
SUBMISSIVE One who yields control. One who obeys orders adn may permit themselves to be bound if doing so pleases their dominant or Master.xt
TOP'S DISEASE An unwarranted attitude of superiority taken by a domiant. Believing that bottoms are somehow inferior and treating them so in either obvious or subtle ways. Usually a sign of insecurity or ignorance. Dominants who suffer from Top's Disease often (surprise, surprise) complain about how hard it is to find people willing to play with them. a mirror image of this syndrome is called Bottom's Disease.
TWO SQUEEZES A "squeeze signal" between players used to non-verbally signal that, "I'm all right."
WORSHIP To adore the personage of the dominant. Often combined with performing some service to the dominant's body such as massaging, kissing, or licking their feet or boots, massaging their body, bathing them. Explicitly sexual activity, such as performing oral sex on the dominant, may or may not be a part of such play.
Animal Training Role-playing by playing the part of an animal. Typically done by the submissive. Examples of animal play are pony training, puppy training or kitten training.
Arse (Ass) Play Sexual play that involves the ass.
B & D Stands for Bondage and Discipline.
Bastinado The act of beating of the feet as a form of punishment.
BDSM A popular acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.
Bear A bear is a man who typically will have physical qualities including a lot of body hair, a beard and a larger masculine body frame.
Belting The act of using a belt during discipline.
Bondage Restricting a submissive to be physically helpless and mostly immobilized.
Boy The term Boy stands for the submissive in BDSM. A female can also play the role of the Boy.
Branding Using hot objects (usually metal) to burn an imprint into the skin.
Breath Play (Asphyxiaphilia) Using asphyxiation (the act of cutting off the oxygen flow to the head) as a way to experience a euphoric high during sex.
CBT (Cock and Ball Torture or Training) CBT stands for either Cock and Ball Training or Cock and Ball Torture.
Cub A Cub is a submissive male who likes bears.
D & S Stands for Dominance and Submission or Domination and Submission. D & S makes up part of BDSM.
Daddy Describes the dominant or mentoring role in a parental role play.
Dominant A person who plays a dominating role or dominates someone.
Domination The act of a submissive being controlled by a dominant.
Electrical Play Playing with electricity for sensual stimulation.
Endorphins Endorphins are chemicals released in the brain in response to pain, stress or pleasure.
Fetish A person with a fetish has a compulsive need to use the object to obtain sexual gratification and cannot achieve this without it.
Fisting Fisting is inserting one or more hands into the anus or vagina.
Flag Depending on color and placement, the flag denotes your desire.
Flagellation The act of using a whip, cane, paddle, flogger or similar device to strike the body.
Free Play Free form sadomasochism where there is no Dominant.
Genitorture Genitorture is the act of torturing the genitals through the application of pain.
Golden Shower A golden shower is using urine in play.
Hanky Codes Hanky codes are a way of showing your sexual kink or interest and also denoting whether you are a Dominant or Submissive.
Leatherman A common reference for the gay or lesbian community.
Limit The limit is the farthest point or line that someone draws for how intense the pain is going to be for BDSM play.
Masochism The act of getting psychological or physical pleasure out of receiving pain.
Munch A meeting of people in a scene who get together to socialize and discuss the lifestyle. Munches are often done over a meal.
Pansexual A Pansexual is sexually accepting of any gender or sexual orientation.
Real Time Real Time means it is happening now, or that this is not pretend.
Sadism The act of getting pleasure out of inflicting pain.
Safe Word A word, signal or gesture that is decided on in advance between participants in a BDSM scene (Dom and Sub, Top and Bottom).
Scat The act of playing with feces or stool.
Scene A scene is a single act of BDSM - like a scene in a movie. Scene can also refer to the whole BDSM community.
Sensual Pain Sensual pain is play that involves intense sensations.
Slave A submissive in a long term relationship with a Dominant.
Submission The act of submitting to a dominant in any way that is mutually agreed upon.
Submissive The person who gives control over to the Dominant.
Switch A Switch is someone who participates in BDSM activity as both a Top and Bottom or Dominant and Submissive.
Urethra Play Urethra play is playing with the urethra.
Vanilla In the BDSM context, vanilla means non-alternative sexuality.
Water Sports Water Sports is any form of play using urine or enemas.
AGE PLAY Role-playing the persona of someone substantially younger (or sometimes older) than your actual age.
BONDAGE Physical materials applied to a submissive or slave to restrain their ability to move and/or to otherwise restrict them. Also, the act of placing the submissive or slave in such materials.
BOTTOM A slang term for a submissive and/or masochist. Many people use the word "bottom" to mean specifically someone who enjoys being given various sensations, as opposed to a "submissive", who enjoys being controlled.
BOTTOM SPACE The psychological "head space" or attitude of being submissive.
BOY A submissive (often, but not always, male) who relates to their dominant in a child-to parent mode. More common among gay men and lesbians.
BRAT A submissive who enjoys rebelling in a childlike way against their dominant. Brats are fairly common in the spanking scene.
CONSENSUAL An activity done with the consent of adults competent to give that consent. One of the central features of SM play..
COUNTING GAMES Rituals engaged in during whipping, flogging, spanking , or during other forms of flagellation, in which the submissive (or slave) is required to keep count f the number of strokes delivered, often thanking the Master after each one and asking for more. Example: "Thats five, Sir. Thank you Sir, Sir, please may I have another, Sir?"
DADDY A dominant (usally, but not always, male) who has a submissive "boy" and who relates to that submissive in a parent/child mode. More common among gay men and lesbians, but gaining currency among heterosexuals and bisexuals as well.
DISCIPLINE Training by a Master in how they wish their submissive or slave to behave. Also, the punishment and correction administered by the Master when the submissive fails to act in the proper manner.
DOMINANT One who enjoys assuming control. One who decidees what happens and when. A dominant may or may not be sadistic.
FLAGELLATION The general act of one person striking another, usually in an erotic context. Includes spanking, paddling, flogging and whipping.
FLOGGER A multi-tailed whip in which the tails are long, flat strips of leather or a similarly flexible material.
HUMILIATION Activities which cause the submissive to feel shame, embarrassment, or degradation. Varies widely from person to person. Possibly psychologically explosive..
MASTER A term for a male dominant. Often used as a term of address, such as "Master Tom". It is often considered somewhat rude to address a man by this term without being first given permission to do so.
MASTER-slave RELATIONSHIP An ongoing SM relationship in which the slave is submissive to a male dominant.
MONDAY MORNING REBOUND SYNDROME Feelings of remorse, disgust, fear, and so forth that sometimes emerge hours or days after a person willingly, and often lustily, takes part in SM play.
MUMMIFICATION Immobilizing bondage, usally done by wrapping the submissive in many coils of materials such as plastic wrap, or by placing the submissive in a body bag designed for this purpose.
NOVICE A person just beginning to learn about and explore SM. Often treated with special kindness and attention by the more experienced members of the community or by the MASTER.
SADIST As loosely defined with the SM Community, a person who specifically enjoys administering pain. A person may be dominant without being sadistic. It's also possible to be sadistic without being dominant.
SADOMASOCHISM A rather vague term referring generally to fantasies and experiences regarding the introduction of domination, submission, bondage, sadism, masochism, humiliation, and related activities into erotic play.
SAFEWORD A specific word or other signal used, by prior agreement, to indicate that things are "really" becoming too intense for the person. Usally used by the submissive or slave, but may also be used by the dominant. "Safeword" itself is sometimes used at SM parties to signal a desire for outside intervention.
SLAVE A person who has an on-going, structured relationship with a dominant or Master. One who assumes the submissive role, often in a highly developed and committed way to a particular person. Cling someone "my slave" generally indicates a relatively sophisticated, ongoing relationship between the two of you.
SUBMISSIVE One who yields control. One who obeys orders adn may permit themselves to be bound if doing so pleases their dominant or Master.xt
TOP'S DISEASE An unwarranted attitude of superiority taken by a domiant. Believing that bottoms are somehow inferior and treating them so in either obvious or subtle ways. Usually a sign of insecurity or ignorance. Dominants who suffer from Top's Disease often (surprise, surprise) complain about how hard it is to find people willing to play with them. a mirror image of this syndrome is called Bottom's Disease.
TWO SQUEEZES A "squeeze signal" between players used to non-verbally signal that, "I'm all right."
WORSHIP To adore the personage of the dominant. Often combined with performing some service to the dominant's body such as massaging, kissing, or licking their feet or boots, massaging their body, bathing them. Explicitly sexual activity, such as performing oral sex on the dominant, may or may not be a part of such play.
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